Saturday, July 28, 2012

Dear Robbi

You can visit my husband online by clicking his picture above.

Thank you for sitting down and listening to me today without getting angry or frustrated. It really makes all the difference in the world, you really have no idea. I'm sorry I frustrate you or try your patience at times because I really don't mean to. You are everything to me and when you see someone who is everything to you, then EVERYTHING they say, do, think, react or how act is everything to you. You are my life and my love, my everything. I live my life everyday doing my best to please God and please you and when I see how amazing you are when it comes to music, I try with everything in my being and with every ounce of energy I have and don't have to be perfect and to please you.  I mess up a lot as I work in the studio and when you get frustrated I understand, but when I see your patience is thin to none and it's really showing.. I freak!  I guess panic is a more accurate term to describe it. So I try that much harder but because I panic it messes me up that much more and it feels like a catch 22. I'm sorry I have a hard time getting things out in the open like I should. I really do try to speak out but it seems when I do, I freeze up or nothing comes out of my mouth. Most people get in trouble because they talk to much where I have the opposite problem and I get in trouble with you because I don't talk enough and I really am working to open up more and not keep so many things inside. My brother says I'm just like dad because he was the the same way but the difference between him and I is when it came out with him people get hurt, with me, I do. It's a hard habit to break but I really am trying. That's why I talked with you today. It's not like me to drink this early in the day and when I walked in the office and told you guys I was getting drunk, you freaked. I was battling so hard inside and it was at the point where I was losing the fight and I knew it. So when you came into the other office where I was and asked what was going on, I started to freeze up. But when you asked if I wanted to talk it opened a door for me to be able to talk with you and you sat there and listened. Thank you for being an amazing husband today and for being there without getting mad. It's amazing what a difference it made because the anxiety I was feeling melted away and I was able to open up a little more. I realize that guys have a hard time dealing with things they haven't been through but it means so much to me that you care enough to try.

This entry is a lot different then what was originally here a couple hours ago, which is cool because before you talked with me today I went off on ALL MEN so any guy reading this should probably thank you about now... What a difference love, compassion and a couple of minutes makes, huh? I love you sweetheart with everything that I am or ever will be!

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