Thursday, January 30, 2014

Life with my Producer

I wanted to write about my husband, after all this entire blog site is dedicated to him anyways. So.... that being said there will be no whining, venting or going off about who ticked me off this week or whatever in this post... this is about my life with my husband; Producer Robbi Spencer. Producer, Artist Management, Musician, Singer, Songwriter, Composer, Webmaster, Entertainer, Image Management, Screenwriter, Movie Director, CEO of SE Studios and owner of Progressive Edge Records, Man of God, Publisher, Published Author, Actor, Head SE Bunnies Judge, Amazing friend, companion, confidant and as a husband he is very attentive who pays attention to every little thing and who is a great provider. He who takes his position as a husband very seriously. He is very dedicated, loyal, faithful, responsible and very dependable. I wanted to write about my life with my husband/producer Robbi Spencer. It's basically an inside look how life began and is currently now with such a multi-talented rock star extraordinaire. 

Robbi gave an interview for SE Magazine back in 2012 and he said that "Being a music producer is a lot like a combination between rocket science and babysitting." You have to know what you're doing but at the same time you're dealing with emotions, egos and tantrums of your artists at the same time." I know for a fact he felt like he was babysitting with me because I didn't make it easy for him at all. At first... like any girl who is in deep for someone who's extremely hot.. of course I did what any girl would naturally do,  I tested him just to see how he would react in certain situations but to my surprise he not only stood up to the tests but fired back. I get into trouble with my husband from time to time but not tried to... it just comes naturally. 

Many wives whose husband is in the same line of work as my husband have complained and one in particular told me that once they got married her husband put her and her music career on the back burner with the assumption that since they're married, she would always be there so he felt there was no rush, rhyme or reason to proceed with her career any further at any given time. My friend told me that once they got married and he signed her she felt that he ended up putting her and her music last on his list. She said she felt neglected saying that since her husband had her, he didn't feel the need to do anything to keep her and so being mad at her husband, she broke her record contract and they ended up in divorce. He would more likely disagree and say he discontinued her contract because she didn't fulfill her obligations. Who knows... I wasn't there to say either way and everyone has their own side of things, right?

For me-  it seemed like that for a while only in the beginning but only when it came to music end of things but in reality I know it was actually my fault that it was that way because no producer is going to display an artist who can't get their act together long enough to get through their own music and I was still in some kind of a shell while being overly shy behind the mic. Although I couldn't help it, it was, what it was. He would build me up, pump me up, encourage me... you know.. that thing producers do when their artist is going to perform or in to record. He would then send me in the studio, get set up and ready to go and he would sit behind the mixer, hit record and I was anything but ready. Yeah... not a good way to start a recording session with your producer regardless whether its your husband or not, especially when your one of their signed artists. 

I never expected to marry a music producer but then again,  I never thought I would ever get married again but if by some miracle of God that there was a guy smart enough to knock down the walls I had up and able to outrun me and catch me... than he would have to a musician because 9 times of 10 unless the person you're looking for is active in the same line of work as you... it's not going to work. 

So when I found out that he was an actual music producer, I guess I freaked because as we talked, the more I learned about how amazing he was and the more I learned about his accomplishments the more I would avoid the subject of my music as much as possible because I felt intimidated which that didn't fly...

Here I was... living the dream many artists never see...  He signed me to his record label... But... all of a sudden I wasn't able to perform up to standards... Robbi expected me to just do my job and for some reason I couldn't which started sending him over the edge in a tiff.  I wasn't remembering  lyrics, chords, keys...  which upset him and he would tell me, you're not concentrating... concentrate! He knew what I could do because he seen me do it but I wasn't doing it when it came time to the recording end of things. In public people would tell him, wow.. she sounds like a CD...  you need to sign her and things like that, so... he did!  He made it very clear right up front that he wasn't signing me because he married me but ONLY because of my talent and not to expect any special treatment and that I had to fulfill my recording contract obligations like any other artist he had which I had no problem with. I understood it quite well, he was the boss and I was the recording artist.  He said when it came to the music business it would only be producer and recording artist relationship and that would be kept separate from our married life. Which I preferred as well.  I was in trouble with him with my music and I was really struggling because I had so many things on the brain which I should have never brought into the studio with me while we were working.  I knew I had to straighten up and fly right pretty quick in order to fulfill my contract and I was running out of time really quick. 

Finally- after a long hard struggle trying to break out of this so called shell, I recorded some originals and we were listening to the tracks I had just recorded and he looked at me and said, "Listen to that!!  That's why I signed you!" and he told me that as my producer, he and the label was proud of me and proud to represent me. That was one of the most amazing feelings I've ever had... omg! 

Robbi is a tough one and not one you can try to squeak by with. He is a perfectionist and catches every little thing in the studio.  I've experienced Robbi pushing harder to do better and better because he believed in me enough to sign me and I've seen him tell people not to quit their day job and he even told some they didn't belong in the music business.  Robbi is a no nonsense type of person who doesn't pull any punches and stands up for what he believes in and can come off as though he's mad or yelling when in fact he isn't... he's just determined or frustrated. He is very protective over all his artists and studio and goes above and beyond the call of duty when he believes in something or someone.  I remember our first real producer-artist fight... and one of the other producers had to step in and get me to realize Robbi is only doing his job and I needed to do mine. I can laugh now but at the time it was not a good situation.  It was in the beginning where I was still fighting to break out of the shyness and out of this shell and nothing was working for me, nothing! All the praying in the world only seemed as though wasn't helping me... and things were just heating up and I asked him to cut me some slack.... he looked at me like, oh no you didn't. At that point I just walked out of the office and back into the studio. Even though I got really upset with him, I understand now why he was the way he was. He later told me that the reason he got so mad was because he knew what I can do, he knew my capabilities and I just wasn't doing it. In all honesty, he was exactly what I needed although I didn't realize it at the time. I had to get my butt into gear and quick and I couldn't do it on my own. I just didn't think I'd get in so much trouble in the process. Robbi believed in me so much yet at the same time, wouldn't cut me any slack and gave me hell if I wasn't doing what I was supposed to do. He encouraged me and let me know that he wasn't going to let me give up and said, you will do what you're called to do so you might as well just deal with it and do it!

Love is such a powerful thing because it was his love for God and his love for me that empowered him to be as tough as he was! He said it's never easy to have to be tough like that, especially when it's the one you're in love with but when you want the very best for them, you just do it. Being married to Robbi is amazing and a dream come true. We had our rough times, just like anybody else but that's okay because if it wasn't for his persistence to push me to do my best, I wouldn't be sitting at the top of the charts right now.  

I never thought, dreamed or imagined it would be this way. We have an amazing life, amazing friends and an amazing newly remodeled studio. We have new projects and new seasons in the works. Meaning... we have our CuddleMuffin Showdown which is now in it's 2nd season, plus we already have our SE Bunnies, Skies alive, SE Spirit Chasers plus we're in the process of making movies and music videos as well. We recently finished up one movie called Razed Life, a movie trailer called Z14 and now were getting ready for the upcoming movie called, "Chasing Butterflies - The Movie" in which we start filming this spring... I think... maybe sooner... I don't remember...Robbi handles all the details and he knows when it starts and that's what's important.  I know it's coming up pretty quick, that I do know. We're also going to be in another movie by Haunted Castle Pictures which will be fun! 

The video below is a rare look behind he scenes of the making of the music video by Robbi and myself called, "Is It True?" where you'll see raw footage's, out takes, behind the scenes interactions along with different camera angles that are not seen in the original music video.

Although it was a long hard road for me... I realized later that my prayers were in fact being answered at the time when I asked God to help me through this process of ditching the shell I felt I was constantly under and couldn't come out of no matter how hard I tried. Here I was thinking God wasn't helping when in fact he was. He was using Robbi to help pull me out. I just didn't realize it was going to be a such a battle to do it. Robbi knew it would be the whole time and that was why he came down so hard on me when it came to the music end of things. There were plenty of nights I would go to sleep totally upset. I wasn't so much upset with him but at myself because I couldn't understand why I was going through such a hard process of coming out of this shell that the tragedies of life had somehow put me in over time. Robbi knew I was called to music, in fact he had a better grip on it than I did because after everything I had went through before I met Robbi, I lost sight of a lot of things. Here.. I would be thinking he didn't care and I would give him attitudes and he would always end up firing back by making me work even harder which ended up paying off because now... I rock!  He knew what he was doing and I didn't have a clue until I started dealing with those things, with the help of Robbi that was holding me back from doing what I love so much and what I was called to do... Music!

Today- I sit at the top of the charts in Rock on ReverbNation and it's amazing! I wouldn't be there today if God and Robbi didn't push my butt into gear and help with every stop along the way. I didn't realize I would get myself in so much trouble along the way but now I couldn't be happier because it's been amazing since I've finally gotten to that place where I totally rock! Robbi said I always did but I had to realize it.  Now... when we are recording it goes as it should. In the beginning of all this I was new at this being it was so long since I had stepped into a recording studio so at the time and didn't understand a lot of things in the music business, recording, record sales, promotions, distributions, contract obligations, making appearances and things of that nature but I do now.   

Now that I'm doing a good job and Robbi proudly displays and shows our music whether it's something we've done together or one of my singles, I no longer feel as I did in the beginning.  I work really hard and my husband is really happy with me and my progress. In the music arena we're like Ozzy & Lita. We have a lot fun in whatever we do and we are connected in every way and it's easy to tell we're soul mates, We're both extremely protective over each other, our marriage, our time together, our music, the studio and everyone of our peeps.

What really blows my mind is that Robbi and I are such an amazing team together and our music is out of this world. We record music together as duets and do music videos that totally rock the house.   Robbi deals with so many artists and clients on a constant basis and he has more patience than I do but one thing he never does is neglect me, our time, our marriage or my music.

I've been learning so much about love being with Robbi. That's why I created the photo shown above about a year ago called love 101.  I think I had the wrong idea and concept about love and all that entails, at least when it came to a man and woman type of love anyway. Before I met Robbi love to me was pain. Period! So I associated love and pain together because that's all I knew and figured that if that was what love was about, I was better off alone and I wouldn't have to worry about some man trying to destroy me. 

Before I met Robbi, if I was seeing someone and we got into an argument over anything even something trivial or stupid then all kinds of hateful things would be said and done and it would just tear me down and it would carry on for days. I would be put down and run into the ground.  With Robbi, there's none of that. When we have an argument it doesn't last very long and hateful things are never said and/or done. We both love each other so much that we work it out even if it takes all night. Regardless, we both agreed to never go to bed angry. He always treated me with love no matter how mad he got. I've never experienced anything like that where a man other than my dad, didn't set out to destroy me, my children or my life.

But when something is meant to be, its meant to be and it always has a way of working itself out. So when I met Robbi I put him through hell for 4 years running from him and another year and a half once we got married with my music. As I said above, I associated love and pain and so I ran even though I knew he was Mr. Right. You can learn more about that by clicking HERE or HERE (Just be sure to start at the beginning of the blog, in November 2011 not the latest post.)  You can also Here and you can hear it for yourself in a short interview But the blog link you see the interaction between us both and follow along as well which you can check out by going Here in the 'History' section.

Watching my husband in every day life and when he's working amazes me because he deals with so much and when he sings and plays for me it's like I'm in another world because he sings and writes the most amazing songs for me. When he lets the spirit flow through him... it really amazes me and it's also healing to my soul. 

Since the first time I've ever heard his music it was amazing and only gets more amazing with every note he plays and sings. I always felt there is no better and I feel that today. Those who know me, knows exactly how I am. I am so dedicated, faithful and loyal to my husband. Although because of some of the things I went through it had changed me. Some for the good, some... not so good because it changed a lot of beliefs I had and how I view people and life and God has been using my husband to help straighten some things out on how I view things and by watching my husband and seeing God work through him it's been healing a lot of damage that was done between the Lord and I. I have to be honest there are still some things that still need healed but considering how far I've come... I can say that as long as I can see God continue to use my husband, I think the other things will be okay. 

I know some of you have no idea of what I'm talking about as far as what I went through so you can go HERE or the Publishing Website and find out about it because I'm not going to explain it in this post.  Then you can visit This Special Page which is very dear to my heart.  Robbi has been helping me through some very difficult areas of my life and still does today. When he sees me down, he does he best to get to the bottom of it and help me. Unlike other guys who could have cared less or got mad because a girl was caught with tears in her eyes. My husband knows me better than I know myself. If he sees I'm quiet he's asking why and what's wrong. There have been times where I would tell him I'm fine, nothings wrong or I'm okay and he would come back with, are you going to tell me what you're thinking about or do I have to tell you. He has a gift to know these things and has proved it every time. So when I said my husband doesn't miss anything, I wasn't just saying that... I meant it.

I love my husband with all my heart and so everyday I do my best to be the best wife and friend I can be and I will as long as I live. My husband isn't thrilled when I write blogs about him and always tells me not to embarrass him. Although he may not post anything for whatever reason, he reads every thing I write. To me, Robbi Spencer is the most amazing husband, friend and producer in the world and that will never change. 

I just felt in my heart that I had to post this because I am so deeply in love with my husband and no matter what we go through in this life, I know everyday together is a precious gift and something I do not take lightly. Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

  1. What an insightful look into my own life! Very sweet of you babylove! Doing music and videos with you has been a lot of fun. Lots more of that in store for 2014, so get ready!


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