I wrote this (below) in response to a very dear friend of ours who has been dealing with spinal pain for 30 and is believing God will heal her because she has a wonderful healing ministry ahead of her. Our sweet friend is a wonderful woman and a mighty warrior of God. God will heal and restore her, I have no doubt of that. It's funny how God uses little things like a Facebook comment to bring out the pains in our own lives so he can heal them. Believe it or not.... God has brought me a long ways in the healing my heart and emotions and has been using my husband to do it, although it may not seem like it when you read it, he has. That should tell how messed up I was. My husband felt it was important to share this with you so that it may help others who are experience pains in a much deeper level. My prayer is that you may be healed from Head to toe, spiritually, mentally, emotionally and physically in Jesus Name, Amen.
30 years? Wow... that's a really long time to be in pain. I'm so sorry you've had to endure it for so long. I guess I have a really hard time wondering why God waits so long on things that are so important and vital in our lives and I think that's just a part of what messed me up, believing God for so long and getting unanswered prayers in return regarding everything that was happening to me that started with lightning when and after my babies died. It got to the point where people kept saying I was crazy for still believing God seeing that he wasn't stepping in to make things right or helping me, even in churches people said that God abandoned me and he turned his back.
Even though it felt that way, I wouldn't admit it when everything was happening but even in tears I would still praise him, but I then got to feeling even that didn't matter to him, nothing was getting better a time when I needed him so much. I guess enduring for so long, the losses, and all the bad stuff that happened is what made me think God didn't like me. I knew God's word, my children knew his word, we all loved, adored, worshiped and served him with all our hearts, the best we knew how. Me and my babies we're baptized in water, and the younger ones were dedicated to him.
I knew he loved me but I also knew he loved the people in hell and that didn't change their situation. I still Love God and I always will, that won't change. Sure, I have a lot of questions and someday I may know but now... I just thank God for what he is doing in my life now. I try not to think of the past because it hurts too much, then I fall into depression and feelings of abandonment so I just don't go there. I don't always catch when I do, but Robbi does and God uses him to bring me out of it.
Sure, I would love for God to right the wrongs that was done but without hurting me in the process. I went through hell my whole life and I thought I did something to God before I got here on earth because there was more pain in my life than good times. I knew people just don't go through the kind of stuff that I had to. I definitely understand your frustrations. Regardless, I still believe God will heal you very, very soon. It will be an awesome testimony for God when he does. I love you honey and I am so thankful for anything good in my life. He's given me a wonderful husband and a great life here a the studio so please don't miscue of what I'm saying as bad, it just flowed out... I love God so much and that will never change!!!! It doesn't seem like a good testimony for God but I still love and honor him if that counts:)
God has healed me so much since I got here with Robbi so I'm not as nearly as bad as I was. I believe God used your post to bring out emotions I didn't realize were still there. Robbi said it's more healing taking place, getting rid of the hurtful feelings.